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James’s Limericks
Twelve limericks, by James, the Animal Tamer

“I have written some Limericks inspired by Avalon folk and situations. Most poke fun at the good folk of Avalon (sense of humor is required).”

— James the Animal Tamer

Jack and Claude:
There was a young Fool name of Jack
who did carry his goods in his pack
Said the bird, "I'll deprive thee,
of runes, gold, pearl and key,"
and left Jack quite broke, that's a fack.

James the Animal Tamer:
There is an old swordsman called James
(we know him by no other names)
where there's beasties around
that's where James will be found
and he talks to the creatures he tames.

Lucina:
I've quite lost my heart aye 'tis so
to my dearest Lucina Juno
mayhap some day we'll marry
but until then we'll tarry
and retain our love's status quo.

Artemus:
There is an old mage known as Artemus
although he stands apart he's a part of us
Nay he'll not go away
Aye he's going to stay
which is why some might call him a stubborn cuss.

One Night Stand (wishful thinking only):
She's the most winsome Riena Faire
but 'tis not to her heart that I dare,
aye 'tis lower I'll aim
love is only a game
and she'll never know that I don't care.

Captain of the Guard:
Crysania's a fine fighting man.
Ride a Horse? Draw a bow? Aye he can.
But beneath mannish armor
oh my gosh SHE's a charmer
and I am HER most ardent fan.

Relax, BlackWolf:
BlackWolf is a leader of men,
he's fought L-o-D Tank Thieves and DEN,
but someday I pray
that I shall hear him say,
"One more ale all around" once again.

Cautious Repeat Offender:
Borealis had called me buffoon,
he judged me and said I'd die soon.
But I ran away
and I'll be back some day
to fight and then recall from rune.

Ode to a Mage PK:
There was a young mage-ish type fellow
who when angry at me he would bellow
"At thee I'll Corp Por
Then I'll send thee one more
after that I shall wear red and yellow."

Revenge on a PK:
Now I've had an escape that was narrow
Through his body I send one more arrow
What was mine and now his
shall be mine, and now 'tis
and I'll crack open his bones for the marrow.

For a lady of THC (and several others):
I saw a most beautiful lass,
and at her I made a great pass,
it was quite a mishap,
for my face she did slap,
and she knocked me right onto mine ... hindquarters.

Life in Our Sosarian Realm:
Two inches is all that we know,
for two inches is all that we show
of lives rich and complex
with toil, care, sleep, and sex
but to British's realm we all go.

Avalon: City of Destiny is a player-city, located on Ultima Online’s Baja Shard.
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